I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
