we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
