my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
