It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
