we're blogging at a bar
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
