Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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