She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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