Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it glows. i had to have it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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