your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
