Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
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Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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