cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
