I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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