Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
