Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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