if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
