Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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