And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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