They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
