We're like a lot better than the average bears
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize