Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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