All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
