I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Im part way to drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
