There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
