wat bout pragnant strippers??
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
