seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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