so explain again why im purple
no
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
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small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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