I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He passed out mid-signature
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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