k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
