Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
