one two three fourrrrnication!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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