Where is the hickey?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
bring money and cleavage
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
