just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
