College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody