I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
