I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
