You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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