He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
