the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
