having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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