I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
