i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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