ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
