Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
