yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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