Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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