So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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