First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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