question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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