i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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