Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize