break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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