Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
