i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
