We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
