Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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