too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
