K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
