Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
