Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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