...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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