We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
