I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
