I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
