Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today