Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Da na na, na na naa

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  (571): I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background (202): Da na na, na na naa http://tfl.nu/9l4t
  Replies (35) Good night (3607) Bad night (421)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...

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  (610): just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating... http://tfl.nu/t9b4
  Replies (47) Good night (1402) Bad night (5325) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

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  (608): Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. http://tfl.nu/iq87
  Replies (19) Good night (5130) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".

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  (803): I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today". http://tfl.nu/w2r4
  Replies (111) Good night (1042) Bad night (13279) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.

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  (305): nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex. http://tfl.nu/huzf
  Replies (6) Good night (1154) Bad night (4063) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Wait, how do girls masturbate?

  (1-925): View more from California

  I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

  (925): View more from California

  ..how does it fit?

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  (925): Wait, how do girls masturbate? (1-925): I dunno we use shower heads I guess. (925): ..how does it fit? http://tfl.nu/ktf5
  Replies (85) Good night (1988) Bad night (5685)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on

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  (847): cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on http://tfl.nu/ommd
  Replies (31) Good night (3985) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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  (860): Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it. http://tfl.nu/iun7
  Replies (15) Good night (1677) Bad night (3875) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

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  (917): I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out. http://tfl.nu/g8zl
  Replies (27) Good night (5278) Bad night (2392) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

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  (609): my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway. http://tfl.nu/j8p7
  Replies (28) Good night (1223) Bad night (9557) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

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  (413): Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again. http://tfl.nu/hakk
  Replies (3) Good night (1509) Bad night (2263)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Vodka?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Forever.

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  (703): Vodka? (202): Forever. http://tfl.nu/90ug
  Replies (7) Good night (1297) Bad night (416)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest

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  (507): 2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest http://tfl.nu/nadf
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces

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  (603): You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces http://tfl.nu/ks18
  Replies (6) Good night (885) Bad night (290) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."

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  (202): Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis. (202): Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery." http://tfl.nu/nxhj
  Replies (5) Good night (1142) Bad night (187)

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