you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.